Visionaries: Episode 6, Transitions by Susan Gray

How often in life have we heard “change is hard”, or some other terminology supporting this thought?  If we live to the expected age of our life cycle, we have certainly experienced changes in our lives. 

As adults, we may look back on our youth with fond memories, or just as likely with a shudder.  We have gone to school, made friends, found careers and families of our own.  Most of us have moved, maybe several times, changed jobs, political or religious affiliations, gained weight, lost hair and experienced illness.

The resilience necessary to get to a better place after many of these changes is what keeps us grounded.  It’s the uncontrolled and unwanted change that bears down on our psyche. 

As a writer, I love all the analogies that describe this shift in life. My all-time favorite being “Everybody’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.” Profound.  And, yes, it’s hard to plan for the unexpected and unexperienced event.  I don’t know what it is like to be punched in the face, but I would assume you get over it.  It’s the things that change and become something you live with the rest of your life that need to be figured out. 

Using progressive vision loss as an example, the shift from sighted to vision impaired can be by degrees.  So, someone can lose their ability to drive, to read regular print, identify a loved one’s face, see colors or identify objects in their path, all in one day, or over several months or years. What began as a diagnosis in an ophthalmologist’s office has now become an uninvited permanent guest.

While this is all new and frightening to the person dealing with it, the people that have gone before us with vision loss figured out a thing or two about how to live with it.  You don’t need to know how to invent the wheel, you just need to know how to use it. 

Sometimes, it isn’t even about finding the information and solutions to how to live with vision loss; it’s more about acceptance.  Before someone can change, they have to acknowledge the need for it. This often is the hardest step in the journey. 

Generally, people don’t willingly surrender their driver’s licenses and embrace a white cane.

Regardless of the support family and friends may offer, people need to sift through their feelings of anger, fear and pain at the loss of their sight.   And, this takes as long as it takes; everyone’s process for grief is different. 

The first signs of acceptance will come in the form of humor.  That is when someone starts to look past the loss to the predicament they find themselves in, with all of its funny outcomes.  Like, learning that doing laundry with bleach probably isn’t a good idea anymore.  And, saying “Excuse me” to the post you just ran into in the store isn’t really necessary.  Or, beginning a new fashion trend with two different colored shoes might not be the new TikTok viral video.

What also becomes important is the effort.  The desire to do the laundry, go to the store and engage in life’s activities again can be a catalyst to the changes that will profit someone with vision loss.

Reviewing all of the philosophical, religious and artistic quotes about change could take days.  From the Bible to Buddha and Pete Seger to David Bowie, change has been a relevant topic. Perhaps because going through change, while difficult, is such a necessary part of life.  It brings us to a place that will eventually become familiar.  At least until that next season arrives.

Thanks to Mike Tyson for my favorite quote.

Susan Gray