Visionaries: Episode 18, The Benefits of Peer Support by Susan Gray
The purpose of support groups seems self-evident; a meeting of peers who are dealing with similar tough issues. Whether it is addiction, grief, disability or illness, having a peer group to partner with offers empathy, comfort and experienced based solutions to the issues at hand.
Most people that are part of a peer support group feel less isolated, depressed or hopeless, and become more confident dealing with their particular loss.
The mystery is why more people do not take advantage of support groups. Possible reasons are that people don’t know about their existence, or feel uncomfortable entering a group of peers unknown to them. Many of our older peers lived in a time when it wasn’t appropriate to share emotions, and it was expected that one “soldiers on” through difficulties without complaint.
Another reason is that with any loss, a peer feels that joining a group isn’t going to change their situation. Joining a support group won’t take away the loss, so what’s the point? While it might not be accurate to say losses become easier, they do, in time, become more familiar to the person experiencing them. This acceptance comes with time, but also with the understanding that the loss won’t go away, so learning how to live with it becomes the new norm.
A peer ahead of you on this journey can offer ways to get through the more difficult challenges. Talking with others who have experienced the same issues as you gives you the chance to try new ways of dealing with what you are living without.
We hear a lot about quality of life and living your best life. While that might not seem possible when you have gone through a hardship, being with others that are managing to live with peace and acceptance can be a great motivator.
Within our vision loss peer groups, we form bonds and friendships, share technology and hobbies, and spend social time with one another. The comfort of being with others like ourselves, and having that time to just be, without explanation, is rejuvenating to our spirits.
So often, we are asked by sighted people to explain our vision loss, and how we manage our daily living activities. Our vision loss becomes the subject of those conversations, when we often just want to talk about anything else. No one has to explain this in our peer groups. It’s a safe place to share humorous stories about our sighted acquaintances, and laugh at our own mistakes. The ability to laugh at yourself signals a comfort level with vision loss.
There will be more to overcome, like learning how to do everything with diminished vision, use public transportation, figure out how to shop and pay bills, advocate for accommodations, work, clean, cook and keep yourself safe when navigating in unfamiliar spaces.
The peer network offers solutions for many of the above issues. Even being blind for over thirty years, I’ve learned new things that have made my life much easier in recent months.
It helps if peers can stay open, teachable and curious. Limit the focus of the things you can no longer do, and learn how to do the things that are possible. A newly blind peer may not believe she can learn how to cook again , but there will be ten other peers in the group that are blind and do cook. It’s hard to keep saying you can’t do something when most of the peer group are telling you that you can, because they do.
Consider joining a peer group-you will lose nothing by trying it, and the benefits will far outweigh any initial discomfort you might have in making that first step.
Aurora of CNY offers vision loss peer support groups at no cost in Onondaga, Oswego and Cayuga counties, as well as a virtual group that can be accessed via phone or computer. These groups are facilitated by peers that have lived experience with vision loss and are on staff at Aurora. If you or a loved one is experiencing vision loss and would benefit from a peer support group, please contact us at 315-422-7263, and we will connect you with our facilitator.